Carers Stories
Anyone can be a carer.
Our youngest carer is just 6 years old, and our oldest is 98 years old.
Do these stories sound familiar to you and your situation?
You can register with us and we can help.
Language barrier? We can help
One of our registered male carers supports his wife, who suffers from multiple health conditions including functional neurological disorder, diabetes, asthma, migraines, and pulmonary embolism. The carer himself faces health challenges after a right knee injury and is awaiting physiotherapy. Despite his own difficulties, he provides full-time care, day and night, without any support from family or friends. The carer’s preferred language is Urdu, therefore conversations were conducted in Urdu to ensure clear communication and to ensure his needs were understood. It became evident during the assessment that due to the demands of his caring role, he faced significant challenges. He had to leave his job, leading to financial struggles, including energy bill arrears and poor living conditions caused by a broken bed.
Support was offered through a carers assessment, introducing him to and providing him with information on local services, mental health support, grants, and food banks in the area. In particular, he was signposted to Turn2Us and successfully secured a £200 discount on his energy bills as well as a significant reduction to his monthly bill, which almost halved. Additionally, a Carers Trust grant funded a new bed, improving his quality of sleep and physical wellbeing. This enabled him to get the rest that he needed for his busy day ahead. Discussions also took place around contingency planning, leading the carer to set up the Peace of Mind plan to ensure that arrangements were in place should anything happen to him unexpectedly.
The carer expressed great satisfaction with the support he received from Carers Link Lancashire, stating that the financial assistance and practical support had eased a considerable amount of stress. Having a new bed enabled him to get better rest, preparing him for the demands of the caring role each day. Overall, the intervention improved both his physical and emotional wellbeing and helped him manage his caring responsibilities more sustainably.
Gail and Stu's Story
Young Adult Sam's Story
I started caring for both of my parents between the ages of four and five. My mum has fibromyalgia and myalgic encephalomyelitis (ME) and my dad had multiple herniated discs in his back which led to him using a wheelchair for several years. It was through the Young Carers Project at Carers Link Lancashire that, aged 11, I was identified as a Young Carer by Carole Moulton. The project supported me by offering personalised and individual support based on an initial age-appropriate assessment of my needs. It also offered me fun respite activities and opportunities that I would normally not have been able to do due to my caring role. No one really understands what it means to be a carer; people just think it’s ‘helping out’ but it is much more than that, you have extra worries, responsibilities, and often feel isolated in addition to missing out on a social life.
When I felt like things were getting too much and that I needed some individual support I knew that I could contact the office, within 24-48 hours there would be a one-to-one planned with my development worker. Just having a listening ear whilst I let off steam was enough to make me feel heard, validated and able to continue in my caring role. As I transitioned into a young adult, I continued to receive support from Carers Link Lancashire through the Young Adult Carers Project, this helped to further build my confidence in so many ways. I was supported with an adult carers assessment which took into account of my hopes and wishes for the future, and in collaboration with my Assessment and Support Officer we created a support plan to reflect that. I also participated in various respite activities which enabled me to help me have some time away from caring and allowed for some time for myself and my friends.
Lyn and Heather’s Story
Lyn and Heather are long term same sex partners with Lyn being the birth mother to 4 wonderful children, two girls and two boys. Their eldest daughter is 20 and has ASD, their eldest son is 15 with no additional needs, their youngest daughter is 13 and has cerebral palsy and their youngest son has complex needs including autism, cerebral palsy and epilepsy. Lyn has supported and cared for all her children from birth whilst also balancing her own medical challenges which include overcoming a stroke and battling fibromyalgia and arthritis. Heather is a step mum to all the children and has been part of their lives for many years. As well as providing support at home, she works part time for Carers Link Lancashire. Together they juggle daily medications, personal cares, mental wellbeing and endless hospital appointments. They continually fight for the medical and educational support their children need. As one battle is won another presents itself. Life is never quiet!
Before talking to Carers Link Lancashire we didn’t recognise ourselves as “carers”. Yes life was a little harder than most peoples, our kids a little more challenging, but this is what fate gave us so this was just our job as parents. After talking to Carers Link our eyes were opened, we started to recognise our role as carers, and were given information on the support that is available. There is a community of parent carers like ourselves out there, and even talking to others in the same boat, with the same challenges can sometimes help. Our eldest son also joined Young Carers. He has benefited massively from joining groups and activities, taking time away from our complex family unit to just be himself and have some fun. We are a happy loving family unit but we have faced challenges due to our sexuality. We have been asked to “prove” parental responsibility, made to jump through hoops to get both mums acknowledged and accepted as equal when dealing with professionals across healthcare and education. But things do slowly seem to be getting better out there for same sex couples, there are more places that accept any family without prejudice.
Les' Story caring for his wife
I had a well-paid job as a Manufacturing Manager which involved travelling to Malaysia. I was about to travel out there again, when Linda had her stroke. It came as a complete shock to us, it was just a normal Friday night, she was on the phone to a friend and within minutes my daughter shouted to me mum’s having a stroke. This was in January 2015. When Linda was allowed home it was clear that life was changed forever, I had to give up my job to look after her as a full time carer.
When I first registered, I had a Carers Assessment which was an opportunity to talk about my caring role and the support that is available. It included planning for an emergency and setting up a Carers Peace of Mind Plan just in case something unexpectedly happened to me, and I was unable to care for Linda. Being a part of the service has helped take away some of the ‘What if’ and replaced it with some reassurance if an emergency did occur. I get a Carers budget and find this payment once a year fantastic as I use it for the football. It means I can plan things with my friend and we are planning a weekend away for when I get it later on this year. I don’t know how I’d manage without being busy.
We plan our days around Linda, due to her medication she sleeps around 14 hours a day, so we do everything between the hours of 12pm – 7pm. We go out every day and make the most of the time we have. Our relationship has changed and evolved into something different. To some degree you’re trying to be a husband and a Carer and that’s sometimes difficult. It effects everything. I feel I manage that quite well, but for some people, I think it must just totally change the way they interact with their loved ones.
It’s been a gradual thing but it’s always been there and my family have always tried to encourage me to take a break but it is a difficult one, you do feel guilty. I do need to start taking more breaks, as at the moment my only respite is the football on a Saturday for 4 hours which is the only time I switch off from my caring role completely. In the last seven years, I’ve had three nights away to go to the football as it is a lot of preparation so sometimes you think is it worth it. I’m trying to do things that are going to benefit myself now.
Peter’s Story, how singing helps, and how he ended up on TV!
Peter, 81, is a carer for his wife with Dementia. However, he also passionately cares for the community, providing hope with his music and singing!
At age 15, Peter sang on a family holiday for the first time - Teenager in Love by Marty Wilde. It wasn't until around 10 years ago however, that Peter began to sing more frequently by joining his local church choir.
Then, in 2019, Peter's wife was diagnosed with Dementia. During one of his wife's hospital stays, Peter feels he found his purpose. In the next bed were a young girl, quadruple amputee, and her mum. When chatting, the girl's mother disclosed that her daughter loved music. Peter began to sing Nat King Cole's Smile, and says "it gave me a feeling I had done something proper in life".
From that day, Peter has sang every day, in Blackburn Hospital, Pendle Hospital, and care homes, bringing joy particularly to those suffering with or caring for someone with Dementia. He says "when you get Dementia, music is a very good therapy", and has even been kind enough to sing in our Community Cafe, Accrington for our Dementia Carers Peer Support Group.
In 2023, Peter came across and began to sing with busker @amiialexx in Blackburn Town Centre singing My Way. The special moment was captured on camera, and went viral on social media platform TikTok with over one million views to date! As a result, Peter was contacted by the BBC and asked to record his cover of Nat King Cole's Smile for a piece on their website. You can watch the TikTok here: Ami Alex (@amiialexx) | TikTok
Peter, who affectionately goes by Elvis as a fan of his, is now a daily customer in our Community Cafe, saying "the people here are good, kind and genuine people. I come here because my wife is now at end of life and I want to give hope to others. I enjoy life - I've got a hell of a family who help me too."
In January 2025, Peter appeared on the hit BBC TV show Michael McIntyre’s Big Show as the unexpected star of the show! He sang his favourite song Smile by Nat King Cole once again, this time to the delight of a whole audience at the London Palladium where the show is filmed. Joined by his family after the performance, Peter said that he enjoyed doing it and informed the audience that “if you listen to the words, it is about giving people a lift and I hope it has given people who are bit down a lift.”
